Miracle

What love is? Love is the miracle, some times slight going almost unnoticed, some other times fiery and demanding. A joy and a pain, a shining smile and a heart breakage. Which is the difference? Which is the best? Is there any real difference at all, a real separation? Can the one exist without the other in a real world where we usually stumble blindly on our wishes, desires, hopes, mistakes and pains, and pains again?
Going forwards and backwards, backwards and forwards again and again and again, does this worth it? At the moment of silence, when time stops and breathing is impossible, when nothing can have any meaning any more, does it worth it? When tears can't stop or, even worse, when we have tears no more sinking in the unconscious nothing, looking but not seeing the white wall of desperation, does it really worth it? Can love worth the pain? Can have anything to do with pain? Real love?
Maybe it's just the parts of ourselves that hunger for our energy that freely flows out when we are in such situations or the need to reach the far extremes of our capacities and even farther. Or both. Or maybe love can hurt or there is not such a thing as love or life or anything and we are just ghosts floating in the ocean of nothing, a quantum phenomenon of just being beyond time and space. Or, even farther, it's just me, one ghost in the ocean of nothing and the presence of others is just an other illusion out of the need to share or not to be so lonely.
And in the end, after a long time floating, I think I know the answer. And it is yes, it worths it. And that's the miracle.

the hour of the lunatic

If you find yourself today in a craziness you can't really explain, there is a scientific reason for this beyond your own nature. I understand that maybe it's difficult for you to see beyond yourself but sometimes, yes, there are also some other parameters. And this is the case.
Today it's a full moon - the wolf people of you, I am sure, you know it already - but it's also and a partial eclipse of the moon and an astronomic cross, which is four planets that make a cross at the astrological map. All three of them? No good.
And if in full moon madhouse dwellers act a bit crazier than usual, what will they do now? What are we doing? And I am talking about me also. I found myself today in a strange mood, a salesman made me crazy and I did the same for him, hehe, of course (!), and I had a terrible headache I had a long time to have and generally it wasn't my day.
You think I am exaggerating? You haven't seen yourself in the mirror today? Or you are an overly peaceful person who wants to keep this image at any cost? Or a guru that has learned through countless years of practice to synch with the rhythms of the universe? You skipped it this time? Wait, don't celebrate yet. A new challenge is coming soon.
In a couple of weeks, an other "coincidence" will happen. Accidental? I don't think so. The universe seems to play with our nerves: 11 of July and a new moon will party with a sun total eclipse... no sun, no moon either. Total darkness. Mprrrrr... Maybe it's the right time to move to an other planet - so pity I have just settled down to my new home. I thought I could wait till the Dec 21st of 2012 or better 20th, a day earlier, but I'll have to find the first spaceship available and be off sooner.
Did I say 21st of Dec.? This year's 21st of Dec will be unusual too. An other total lunar eclipse will happen that day, the day of the winter solstice or Yule, the magickal night when the sun god is reborn to warm the earth again. Coincidence? I am sick and tired of this word that seems to lie under any rock I lift, under any event that happens around.
Do we really still believe in coincidences? Or it's just an other bad joke?